Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Michaelangelo, you ain't.

Yesterday the painter was here painting our newly repaired living room wall.

"Go ahead and leave the dogs in," said our contractor.
"Will the painter guy be able to handle them sniffing around?" said I.
"Oh, sure, they're no trouble."
Then, he added: "Baroof!"

Bassets bring grown men to such outbursts.

So, I let a total stranger in to paint my house without making my dogs stay out in the yard. In hindsight, there were so very many things that could have gone wrong...Fortunately only one thing did.

"Everything went well," said our contractor, "he's done and I'll send you the bill."

I came home to find two happy puppies: "Somebody visited us today! And he brought smelly stuff!"

Getting ready for our nightly grunt/drag/walk I bent down over Toula to drop her leash on and found the whole side of her right ear covered in white paint. But, our walls are painted a dusty moss-green color.

"What the..!" Then I remembered: The baseboards were painted white.

Toula had sniffed along the baseboard, picked up fresh paint, then used her velvet-y Basset ear to "paint" the base of our carved wood foyer table. And the sofa. And it appears a bit of a kitchen cabinet. It was all very Monet.

At least she wasn't aiming for Pollack. That would have been too much to clean up.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Apologies all around. I was just scolded for not having posted in 11 days which, lately, has felt like only 11 hours....

As you know, weekend before last we experienced a water leak here at Basset Central. We found out the hard way that it damaged walls, carpet, equipment, furniture... So, on top of an already very busy work and home schedule, now we get to do repair renovation.

This is me being giddy about repair renovation: yay.

So far the living room is in the process of repair. Remember the picture of it before? Well, here it is now.That dust on the coffee table? Drywall dust. It's everywhere. That big black thing in the left corner? That is a LOUD industrial fan. It's been running since February 9. I can hear it in my head even when I'm miles away.

But, anyhoo, I'm not the only one who's been naughty lately. This just in, from Miss Toula, who I found this evening after dinner on our bed gumming D.'s tie:I believe that look on her face is internationally recognized as "sorry...." in any language.

Frankly, I hate that tie, she's so cute with her speckled pink belly I want to snorgle her, and I don't blame her wanting to lick something that smells like D., so she's welcome to it.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

it wasn't basset slobber

When a dog eats a treat - a large one that takes more than a few bites - the dog usually uses the ground as a sort of support. This is due to their lack of opposable thumbs, and their reticence to sit at the dining table and use a fork like a normal person. No matter how many times you've forced them to practice using the good silverware.

The treat-eating process can sometimes involve a lot of drool, and, not to put too fine a point on it, it can result in a wet spot on your floor.

Which is why, when last night I stepped on a damp spot on the living room floor, I assumed it was due to a Basset Snack Experience. When we'd returned home from work minutes before, we discovered Toula had spent the day snacking on a found chapstick.

So,that wet spot didn't ring any alarm bells in my head.

This morning, eating breakfast in advance of a trip to the dog park, I looked up and saw a huge ceiling water stain, and dripping coming from the ceiling of the living room. It was dripping right down into our media cabinet. The one that is known far and wide as D.'s Pride And Joy and which brings most grown men to tears when they see it.

Let me put it this way - the morning after we watch an action movie, I have to go through the whole house righting all the pictures hanging from nails, because the vibration from the Amazing Amplifier Speaker Thingies has scooted the entire house northward about an inch.

But, I digress.

Since we had just spent One Gazeellion Dollars renovating the bathrooms upstairs, and are still paying off the project, I was thrilled to see this. "Yay!", I said, "That smells like more money - and I can't wait to spend it!".

Walking over to the spot to view it, I felt and heard that distinct carpet-soaked squishing sound. Confirmation hit: Toula doesn't usually drool that much.

I dialed our Contractor Guy who was at the house with Plumber Guy within 2 hours. After moving the media center, discovering one of the speaker amplifier thingies was now rusting from the wet, they cut a hole in the ceiling and found a copper pipe that had been touched with a nail back in the Stone Age when our house was built. Over the years, this had slowly corroded a hole in the copper pipe. Yay, chemistry.

Plumber Guy: "Whatchoo got here is 'schedule M' copper, which is thin. This stuff don't last more than 20 er 30 years. (quick mental house was built in's, 30 years.) I only use 'schedule L' copper, which is, like, twice as thick."

Me: "Hokaaaay. So, can you fix it?"

P.G.: "Yeah, we'll getchoo all fixed up."

So, after some cuts and soldering, the offending section was removed and replaced with a new 4" piece of 'schedule L'. I can now sleep soundly knowing there is at least a smackerel of 'schedule L' in my home.

Molly, meanwhile, managed the project, as a typical manager would. The plumber will be submitting his TPS reports in the morning.

Saturday, February 2, 2008




"After brunch we'll take our tea in the solarium, James."

Molly's lazy-o-meter is on 11. Lately, she's put on like she doesn't want to walk as far as we usually do, but if another dog shows up on the street its, "oh, hell no, you don't walk faster than me, I walk faster, and not only that, I've sniffed that shrub before, so shove off", and I'm being dragged down the street like an asphalt water skiier.

Example given: Every once in a while she takes her meals sitting down. What the heck is that about? In the World of Dogs doesn't this mean in the wild she'd either be eaten, or laughed out of the pack?

Actually, yes, it does. Well, for a hound, likely laughed out. I showed her this hound video as proof and told her if she's naughty, it's off to the French Chalet for you, puppy! Au revior, chien! Il n'y a pas de Costco Cookie Bones au chalet, ma petite!