Sunday, March 22, 2009

guest editor


This week the lowdogs editor (moi) has been extremely busy. Accordingly, I passed the responsibility of updating the photo journal to Big D. Unfortunately, I neglected to remember that his most favorite thing to do with the dogs is to watch them sleep because he is desperately in love with Molly and thinks she's The Most Adorable Dog That Ever Lived.

As usual, when he handed the camera back to me I was presented with multiple photos of Molly sleeping. Seriously, we have about 1,347 pictures of the dogs asleep, asleep on top of the sofa, asleep on top of the sofa and 'holding the tv remote' between their paws, asleep on top of the sofa 'holding the remote' with me catatonic under them after a long day at work (not my finest hour).... You get the drift.


I love Big D and he's a very active and masculine guy, but this fixation he has on how cute the dogs are when they sleep...well all I can say is Thank God, sister, because let's face it, I'm not getting any younger, and someday it will be ME drooling when I sleep, with a face sliding off my skull, snoring and snorting and jerking my legs like I'm running. And believe me, I'm going to be damn happy that he thinks this is So Cute.

OK, he's right. This is the cutest smooshy face I've seen at least in the past week. Aww.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

kill da wabbit

There is a very famous 1957 Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd episode called What's Opera, Doc, set to Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries in which Elmer sings, "kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit". If you haven't seen it, you haven't lived, because it's brilliant. At our house it's a theme song right now.

Let me set one thing straight, Your Honor: I have never killed a wabbit, nor have I ever caused a wabbit to be killed. There was this one very unfortunate incident involving a rattlesnake that entered our yard and slithered itself up to our back door, and all I can say is that shovels are really weighty and it never felt a thing.

So, recently my neighborhood has been overrun with wabbits and I'm starting to understand why the French snack on them. Speaking of French, the lowdogs were BRED by the French to HUNT RABBITS. I'm not pulling your leg, go look it up.

OK, so here's what I saw the other day out my kitchen window.


This beautiful little furry creature of God and his/her relatives and/or friends dine on every plant in my yard and deposit little ball-shaped turds e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. Oh, and they pee, too, which leaves little bunny-butt sized burn marks everywhere.

So, I think to myself, "Hey self, wouldn't it be great to have a natural remedy to this problem?" At which point I embark on a hunt (pun intended) for the 'natural remedy' that I just fed some very expensive kibble and leftover steak to about 15 minutes ago.

This is where I found the Mighty Hunter:

OK, do you see her giving me that evil eye?
Seriously, it's like having a teenager in the house.

Suffice it to say, Wabbit and all his/her little furry friends/relatives will be assured of living a long and glorious life in my yard.

Chalk up one for the Wabbit Union.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

"look, mommy, bloodhounds!"

lowdogs live in suburbia, surrounded by minivans, Starbucks, dry cleaning shops, and women who play bunco. But in the midst of all that Wonder Bread world, we are fortunate to have a large lake that is available to fish in, jog around, or trail hike. Unfortunately, dogs are not permitted off-leash, which isn't really an issue for us, since lowdogs have such strong sniffers they'd be off like a shot if they were let off the leash. As we entered the trailhead, a gaggle of kids on bikes with training wheels, handlebar streamers, and wearing helmets two sizes too large, saw us and exclaimed, "look, mommy, Bloodhounds!". Toula, the smart one of the two, whipped out her iPhone, tapped "wikipedia" into the search field screen with her toenail, and spent a moment educating the children on the difference between Bloodhounds and Basset Hounds. Take that, home schooling mommy.

The dogs enjoyed their day in the sun, which frankly was a nice break from the recent frigid 62 degree temps. I'm not sure how we survive it, but in the evenings we actually have to put on a sweatshirt to walk the dogs because it's so damn cold. A couple nights ago I wore flip flops on my walk and I'm happy to announce that I avoided frostbite by jogging with the dogs to keep my blood flowing. Phew.

Toula was in her element sniffing around the lake, looking for random things to put in her mouth, and dragging me along for the ride. The result of which was a 6" long snot trail across her nose, which I had to photograph just for you. Just keepin' it real. You're welcome.

Her little pink tongue is cute, though, isn't it? Try to focus on that.

Friday, February 13, 2009

valentine-y comment from reader

A note from the lowdogs:

"We would like to thank Plein Texas for her sweet comment with which we have to agree:

I told my grandkids that bassets are really princesses and princes in a hairy form and we have to be especially good to them.

Speaking of hairy princesses, we feel that Basset hair is really princess fairy dust. Accordingly, we cannot understand why Daddy howls in the morning when he gets it on his black slacks. Why wouldn't he want to take our fairy dust to work, to share with all the other mortals? Something we ponder."

Happy Valentine's Day from your two princesses. Arroooh!



Saturday, February 7, 2009

waiting for daddy


lowdogs have a nightly routine. As soon as we go to turn off lights around the house, they know it's "nightie night time" and they they must (1) go outside to "go potty!", (2) come inside for cottage cheese [see previous story about Miss Molly's acid reflux], (3) go upstairs to the bedroom, (4) receive a small cookie treat, (5) get into their dog beds, and (6) quiet time.

And, they do this like clockwork. It's as if they're circus performers who have practiced endlessly and perform perfectly every night.

However, periodically Big D will throw the routine off. He will suddenly remember that he has to send an email, or rebuild a motorcycle engine, and he doesn't come to bed with everyone else.

lowdogs can't handle that. So, they wait and wait and wait for him. I have to shout through the door, "Open carefully or you'll hit a snout!". As soon as he comes in, they can get into their beds, but not a second before.

God help us all if he's an hour late, because they will wait like this until...until...until...
Molly in particular is in love with her Daddy and will pine for him until the end of time.

This is what makes me think that in some cases, your soulmate isn't always a human. Hunh.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Obama...and bassets?

In honor of the new president taking office, we bring you proof that Bassets have more power than one would think.

First, this article that speaks to Basset advocacy (hunh?).

Second, this most hysterical video below, including flying Basset lips. (Please note that in fairness we attempted to find information on Bassets for McCain, but found nothing. Perhaps that was why he did not prevail? You decide.)


Sunday, January 11, 2009

dog park day!

Saturday was Basset Meetup day at the dog park. It was wonderfully warm, and there were dozens of Bassets there of all shapes and sizes. Here's a picture of one that tackled me when I got there....Wham!

Miles is a pup owned by the folks who run the local Basset Rescue. He's a cool dude with soft fur and just the right amount of drool.
At the end of the day, just as we were all leaving, he decided to sing for us...Arooh!
Bye, Miles!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

maybe I should have named her 'butterchunks nugget lump'

Today on msn.com there was an article about the most popular - and most unusual - pet names. The top, 'most popular' dog names include:

1. Max
2. Bailey
3. Bella
4. Molly
5. Lucy
6. Buddy
7. Maggie
8. Daisy
9. Sophie
10. Chloe


...and the 'most unusual' are:

1. Rush Limbark
2. Sirius Lee Handsome
3. Rafikikadiki
4. Low Jack
5. Meatwad
6. Peanut Wigglebutt
7. Scuddles Unterfuss
8. Sophie Touch & Pee
9. Admiral Toot
10. Spatula


"Admiral Toot"?! That is just damn funny. I'm sure that Toula would be high on the unusual name list, but it doesn't carry a very large giggle factor.

Actually, my current favorite dog name is Biscuits Jackson. Doesn't that sound like the name of your cousin who could totally score you some righteous organic? (I'm talking dog biscuits here, people, relax!).

Thanks to Laura for the dog name article!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

dogs 101

Last night as Big D. and I were trolling through the tv channels we could find nothing to watch. Mind you, we get about 714 channels, so "nothing" is subjective, like "I have nothing to wear", or "there's nothing to eat in the house". I remember when you were lucky to be able to watch three networks and a public station if your rabbit ears were working right and you hadn't messed with the tin foil mashed on the tip of one of the antennae. And, you had to get your happy ass up off the sofa to change the channel. Somehow back then we found shows to watch.

So, last night we're clicking around the stations and for a moment we considered watching The Bachelor so we could bag on the crazies who throw themselves at that narcissistic dude, then suddenly noticed "Dogs 101" on Animal Planet. They were highlighting, among others, Basset Hounds. WOOT! Sadly, they spent 10 minutes per breed and Bassets only got a smattering of information, which was highly disappointing. Frankly the whole show should have been on Bassets, can I get an A-MEN? I mean, do we really need to know that Boston Terriers are known for flatulence (wtf?) and Shar Pei have black tongues? Gross! Bassets were bred by French aristocracy, people!

If you wish to view 10 minutes of Bassetness, it's showing again on Jan. 18 at 3pm (USA, only). We suggest you DVR or Tivo it so you can scan through the Lesser Breeds to get to the yummy, ooey gooey rich and chewy Basset-y middle part. Animal Planet

Thursday, January 1, 2009

happy new year 2009


Happy 2009! In honor of the new year we allowed Molly and Toula to sleep in our bed with us last night. It was a Two Dog Night (1970's band reference, anyone?? ok, yeah, I know it's 'three dog night', smartypants), ha ha. Anyhoo, our gardeners, who come every Thursday, decided it was Just Another Thursday and showed up at 7:30am to blow our yard and turn on the Loudest Lawn Mower In The World, which caused the dogs to LAUNCH out of bed, barking and aroohing and hollering. Yeee-owza. I had to pull clothes on and feign a smile as I 'Happy New Year!'d them out the back door.

The gardeners get one point for reliability, but minus one point for the hangover headache. Sigh. I guess it could be worse. We could live in the snow. **shudder**

This morning as we tried to watch the Rose Parade, Molly decided we should watch her, and climbed on my lap.Let me be perfectly clear: BASSETS ARE PACK ANIMALS. If you think you can have just one, or be one of those "leave the dog in the yard" families, don't get a Basset.

But, if you want to start your new year with a warm, lovey dog in your lap who smells a bit like Fritos, periodically jams her wet nose into your face, and leaves long strands of hair on your shirt, get a Basset.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

donation opportunity...let's end 2008 with some good karma

If you, like many, are looking for a good donation opportunity at the end of this year, here's a couple great ones:

San Diego Humane Society
Basset Hound Rescue of San Diego

Keep in mind these folks are happy to get even just $5 or $10 bucks; every little bit helps. But hey, if you can ante up $500, then go for it!

Here's a little video I cooked up for you, which I hope makes you smile. Oh, and I hope it leads you to consider donating to a needy cause :o). Turn up your speakers. Arooh!


Sunday, December 21, 2008

happy christmas from the lowdogs


This last week our local Basset Rescue held a fundraiser at a pub owned by a Basset owner. There were a couple dozen Bassets of all sizes there, and natch, Santa Claus. Toula wasn't having it, and kept looking to her Daddy for escape.

Molly, on the other hand, pulled her best long-eared look because her goal in life is to sit in every lap she can, and this was like a dream for her....

The bar provided "logo" polaroids which meant everyone got a picture with EFFEN Vodka printed on it. That is so kitschy it's delicious. Happy Effen Holidays!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

the vomiter

OK, look. This is going to be like ripping off a bandaid; at first it hurts, but in the end it's for good. Here's the hurt: This precious little angel puppy is a vomiter. She barfs indiscriminately for seemingly no reason. Once she was laying on the very top of the sofa with her little muzzle draped down the back of the sofa, and she vomited all down the back of the sofa without even batting an eyelash. Yeah, the down-stuffed chenille sofa, now affectionately known around these parts as "the world's most expensive dog bed".

Last night she was walking between the sofa and the easy chair, and up it came. Only this time it was evidently burning her so she violently shook her head from side to side as she was walking. Not to put too fine a point on the story, but we were eating dinner on the sofa and, well, you can guess the rest based upon even a high school science understanding of trajectories.

Anyhoo, here's the good part. The reason I'm telling you this is that we have discovered the absolute best way to solve the cleaning problem associated with this. In two words: BAKING SODA.

We keep a 5lb. bag of Arm & Hammer baking soda from Costco on hand, and whenever there are wet accidents (dog-related or human related. I'm talking to you, wine spiller, and you know who you are), we pour a thick layer of the stuff on the wet. It soaks the wet up into the baking soda, rather than allowing it to soak down into the carpet. Then we let it dry, sometimes overnight, and come back with a shop-vac and suck it up.

Last night I sprinkled it all over the carpet, and the sides of the sofa and chair. This morning all I had to clean was a small spot out of the carpet, and do some light cleaning of the furniture.

If you have a pet with a similar problem, this is the safest, cheapest, and easiest solution.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

another lazy sunday

These past few days a friend of mine from high school came to visit. Years ago when she lived in London she had a Basset named Fred whom we met on a visit, and loved so much it made us seek out a Basset for ourselves. Fred has since passed on, but is not forgotten.
My friend now lives on the other side of the planet, and has another dog (not a Basset, sadly), but remains a Basset lover. Molly and Toula worshipped the ground she walked on while she was here, as she brought with her a bag of Three Dog Bakery treats! Now, THAT's a true friend! Barooh!

We took her and the lowdogs to the beach where we all had a terrible time and hated the weather. In fact, we wished it was snowing and we were all stuck inside with the flu.

Just checking to see if you're still reading.

Life sucks (Molly chasing Big D at the shoreline):Actually, what did suck was that it was high tide and there was a lot of seaweed on the shore. With seaweed comes kelp flies and we had to swat them away. It was very difficult and we were forced to go home, drink mimosas, and feed Three Dog Bakery treats to the bassets to recover from the trauma. Oh, how we keep surviving this I'll never know.

(BTW, Molly's itchy foot problem is subsiding thanks to a slight change in the weather, and regular doses of Benadryl.)

Here are 4 seconds of basset-y goodness, with the voice of Big D in the background. Isn't life grand?

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

home remedy

Big D has decided that the best way to treat Miss Molly lowdog's predilection toward chewing on her foot is to (a) spread some hydrocortisone cream on it, (b) spray it with bitter apple so the cream isn't tasty and (c) stick a sock on it. She went to bed like this last night.

Sadly, the sock, which is one of his designated work socks, tasted remarkably like Big D, which made it a sort of Daddylicious Smorgasbord of foot sweat, apple, and creamy hydrocortisony butter. MMMmmm, that's good sock stank.

So, suffice it to say that although she promptly went to sleep like this last night, we woke up this morning to Molly sucking her foot again, and a discarded, rather wet, dog-saliva soaked sock.

Sigh. I'm dialing the vet as soon as they open....

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

bunny sighting

This weekend Toula discovered the joys of being a Basset Hound can include spotting prey in the wild and .... staring at it. And when I say "prey" I mean a little bitty bunny rabbit (note circled bun-bun and teensy white cotton tail). And, when I say "in the wild" I mean the neighbor's yard. Oh, the drama.

This pic, taken from my Treo phone and therefore showing all the hallmarks of a crappy shot taken quickly with the subject of the photo escaping into the shrubbery (Pulitzer prize attempt lost again), occurred at the exact moment that Toula turned into a pillar of concrete. She literally froze and would not move. All the Dog Whispering "SHHTZS!" and pokes to her neck, were unsuccessful, as were the subsequent chain-yanking, hollerings of "OY! TOULA! LOOKIT ME!". Nothing would get that dog to draw away her attention.

Mind you, when she's in the house (read: AIR CONDITIONING) and a bun-bun is in our yard eating my plants and pooping in vast quantities she can't be bothered to even wink at the thing. I think I need to sit her down and re-visit the How To Be A Basset Hound manual, Chapters 1-3 again. And, there will definitely be a pop quiz at the end.

Monday, September 1, 2008

clean toys!


Clean toys!, originally uploaded by JolieVoice.

It's cleaning day, which means we sew up all the holes in the dog toys and toss them in the washer on LAVA HOT setting to get them clean. Mind you, getting the toys clean is usually a futile effort because someone invariably ends up doing something that circumvents my cleaning. Like this:

Sleeping in the flippin' dirt! She sleeps in soil, then walks back into the house, hops on the sofa, and deposits all the dirt in the crevices of the sofa! AAAAGGHH! kill me now. That's it, I'm getting a maid!

Sigh. I'm just cranky because Molly kept me up all last night chewing on her paw and scratching. She's allergic to the environment (trees, pollens, grasses, weeds, etc. Pretty much everything outdoors), and once in a while she is really impacted by it. Benadryl isn't doing a lot right now, so we're keeping an eye on her. I hope I don't have to start injecting her again...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

beach day

Tails up, ladies!
The lowdogs arrive...

It's been a tough few months with work projects for me, so I was out of the loop on the lowdogs blog. In an effort to return to normalcy, I brought my camera to the beach with the pups today. It was a beach we haven't been to in several years, even though it's the closest to our home, because it used to be mainly populated by untrained Pit Bulls with names like "Cujo" and "Shithead". But, over the years the community has changed a bit, and we were joined today by a more diverse crowd. We'll definitely be going back!

View of the pier

After returning from the beach, the dogs were coated in a fine sand that was embedded in their fur. Because we didn't want to clog our plumbing with it, we hosed them off in the back yard instead of in the tub. A little water, a few Milk Bones, some fists full of Head and Shoulders, and that seaweed smell and sediment was a distant memory!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

molly antics

A lazy Sunday today. It's hot and muggy; an unusual combination for our area, and it brings out unique behavior in Miss Molly.

First, I caught her snuggling up to a hard plastic rubber duckie, tail wrapped around it and all.
A couple hours later, I was looking for her through the house, yard, everywhere, and couldn't find her. I walked past the bathroom and found this sight:
Walking into the bathroom, I realized the temperature in there is at least 10 degrees cooler than the rest of the house. Smart dog.

Usually, when I get out the camera, Molly stops what she's doing or gets up and walks away, but she was so enjoying the cool tile that she just continued to lie there.

I'm sweating just typing this. To hell with this, I'm gonna go sit with Molly in the shower. Bye!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Whew. I'm back.

The past two months have been tough, with a lot of work to do and no time to do it. We finally escaped from it all, spending almost two weeks on Oahu, and now that we've been back for a week it seems like it was a year ago. *sigh*!During our absence we took the lowdogs to a dogsitter that we've known for years. The woman boards dogs in her home with her family and other dogs, and lives on a property that is overrun with rabbits, full of places to run, and places to nap in the shade. She lets the dogs hang out in the house if they like. When they come home they sleep for two days because they're so pooped from Doggie Day Camp.

Two days before we left, we discovered Toula had a Urinary Tract Infection. Once we thought about it, we realized we had signs about it for a few weeks, and I felt terrible that it took us so long to figure it out! The night I discovered her problem, I crafted a plan. In the morning, I would grab a Tupperware container, leash up Toula, and take her outside where I would stick the Tupperware under her bum as she peed her morning's pee. It pays to be a woman who's had a UTI before and knows the program!

I took the 'sample' to the vet, and they gave me some antibiotics just in time. The sitter said it took about 3 days before Toula was feeling better, but it worked. Phew!

In the meantime, Molly's barfing problem has gone away. We feed them a 'splotch' of cottage cheese every night before they go to bed, and that's done the trick!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

lowdogs rise in the east

Last night Molly gobbled her 1/2 cup of cottage cheese before bedtime, per the vet's instructions. It's supposed to help with her acid reflux in the morning.

This morning I joined D. at the window, as he was tying his tie. Molly was outside on the grass in the familiar position.
"She's getting ready to yak, again. Wait for it. There she goes."
"Poor Molly."
Then, he turned to me, looked into my eyes, and said,
"Someday you and I will be on vacation and gazing out the window at a beautiful, real sunrise, not a Basset sunrise."
A girl can dream.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

molly's diagnosis: acid reflux?!

For the past few weeks Molly has been barfing once or twice a day. She mows on some grass, then a few seconds later it's oomp-chuh, oomp-chuh, and up it comes. Not to be too graphic, but we began to realize she wasn't barfing food, just foamy yellow bile. Which sort of reminded me of the fraternity house during my college years, but Molly swore she hadn't been doing boilermakers or engaging in any games of Zoom-Schwartz-Parfigliano.

Anyhoo, we started to get worried as all sorts of Bad Things would pass through our minds. She was still typically happy, waggy, with bright eyes, and couldn't wait for her meals, so we figured she wasn't on death's door. We researched online and started feeding her cooked rice and boiled chicken, and D. even gave her some Maalox. Sadly, he didn't see the giant cherries on the bottle when he bought it, so the poor pup ate cherry-flavored white chalky stuff for a couple of days before she realized it really tasted like methyl ethyl gak and wasn't having any more of it, thank you very much.

Yesterday we arrived home to find more barf on the bathroom floor and the carpet (oh, joy), and made an appointment to see the vet. He sent her home with some medicine and a directive to us to feed her lots of little meals throughout the day, plus a cup of cottage cheese just before she goes to bed.

I don't know about Molly, but if I eat right before going to bed it gives me nightmares, so we'll see how she does...

Sunday, April 20, 2008

bath time: the final indignity

"Je ne veux pas sentir comme une prostituée française." (I do not want to smell like a French whore.)

Bassets, being French, speak to us in French. Don't yours?

Sunday bath time this morning! Indignities include tooth brushing with vanilla-mint doggie toothpaste, ear cleaning, armpit scrubbing, and soaping of the schnozz. Pits-n-snags, as they say. All of which the lowdogs endure with trepidation, but little treats along the way soften the blow.

We get compliments all the time on how soft the dogs are. "What do you use?" people ask. "Ancient Chinese secret," we reply, pushing aside the Head and Shoulders. Dog shampoo? Hell, no, that stuff smells like cheap French perfume. Head and Shoulders works to get the oils out and keep the pups fresh and fluffy.

Then, we toss the dogs into the dryer on "air fluff", and Bob's yer Uncle. We have to pound on the dryer lid to shut them up, though. Don't want to wake the neighbors.

Molly, scrub-a-dub-dub:













Toula waits her turn:













Toula, scrub-a-dub-dub:













Molly's turn to wait while Toula's scrubbed:













Then, when they're both all shiny and fresh as a daisy, they're set free, and run about the house trying to get dirty again. This morning they shot out the back door and up the hill to say 'hello' to the neighbor dogs. So much for bath time. Ah, lowdogs.

Monday, April 14, 2008

dogpark

Molly out for a ride
Took the lowdogs to the dogpark yesterday, Sunday. It was about a thousand degrees and they didn't do much but sniff around; hardly any other dogs were there. It was too hot for them to run around (and Molly hasn't been feeling well lately, which didn't help), so they mostly stayed in the shade and hung low. Molly does very well in the car on the drive over, but Toula - who used to get carsick when she was young - peeps the whole way like a bird. PEEP! PEEP! I guess it's part of her past life as a cockatiel....Hmmmm.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

highdog

For a lowdog, Toula is always trying to be up high. I think in a past life she was a cockatiel.

She prefers to sit at the top of the stairs, on top of the hill in our yard, and, when we're at the sofa watching TV, she climbs to the top of the sofa and lays there stretched out like a cat. OK, maybe she was a cat in a past life. Oh, hell, maybe both, and she's gone 'round a couple times. She does tend to be naughty, and that's karma, baby.

At any rate, this morning she climbed up top and sat down on the back of D.'s neck, perfectly comfortable (for her). We couldn't roust her, so D. had to stand up and get off the sofa. She got down, then two seconds after he reseated himself, she got right back up there.

Cockatiel.
Toula sitting on D's neck

Monday, April 7, 2008

hover hound

Hover Hound
It's official: Molly's knee seems to have healed, at least enough to allow her to have some fun. Yesterday we took her to the dog park, and after wandering around sniffing for about 15 minutes, leading us to believe she really wasn't up for a party, she suddenly shot off after the other dogs in a Basset Burst of speed! I captured one of these pshooooo! events with my Treo phone and had to share it here.

If you look closely, you can see all her paws are off the ground. She doesn't normally get this animated unless there's ham or a cookie bone involved, so this was a red letter day. Next time we go on a "grunt/drag" I'll have to remind her of this episode....

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

she's baaaaaack.

Yesterday I was able to get Molly to join Toula and me on our first walk together as a threesome since the infamous Easter Day Beach Wounding in which Molly threw herself with abandon into the sea and tweaked her knee.

Took this with my Treo on our walk last night, and I must say I'm amazed that the phone can capture the waggy tail movement of the lowdogs. They are perpetually happy, thus constantly wagging, which makes it all the more important that we maintain a lowdog household forever. Because there are only so many glasses of wine that can be wagged off your coffee table before you realize Bassets are the Chosen Dogs.

Monday, March 24, 2008

basset, party of one

Yesterday's beach jaunt proved to be too much for Molly's bad knee, the one which tells her when it's going to rain, and that she uses as an excuse to pee in the house just 4" from the dog door. She's been gimping around the house, poor thing, so we've been medicating her with love and baby aspirins.

Toula, however, is raring to go, so to prevent the typical 8pm energy burst, D. and I concocted and executed a Brilliant Plan to get Toula out for a walk with Molly none the wiser.

D. went to his office, Molly followed. I went to our bedroom, Toula followed. This typical behavior allowed us to close Molly in to the office, and Toula and I slipped out the front door. Seconds later, Molly was snoring loudly and Toula and I were free! Free, I tell you!

Walking this brown dog today reminded me what a joy it is to own a dog. Walks with Molly on the lead are usually more like "Grunt/Drags". Alone with Toula it was an actual Dog-Whisperer- style walk, with occasional stops for sniffing, but 98% an actual walk. She walks proudly, prancing with her tail and ears at alert. We took a long tour through the wooded trails and met other dogs which Toula politely greeted. Had Molly been with us, meeting another dog would have been a cartoonish yank, ending up with me off my feet, being dragged down the trail, dirt collecting down the front of my shirt and hitting every stone with my chin.

I took this shot of Toula on the walk with my Treo phone. Do you see how the angelic nature of Toula's behavior is memorialized by the corona in the background? Do you hear the Basset Angels singing? Hallelooo-arooooh! *sigh*

Of course, D. would totally disagree with me, thinking that Molly is the more angelic of the two. He is hopelessly in love with her, as, frankly, he should be, because she's an old soul and sweet and yummy, and she smells exactly like Fritos Corn Chips. No, seriously. But this is my blog, so I can wax poetic about Toula if I want to. So there.

At the end of the trail you actually walk through an area that is sort of trail, sort of these people's back yard. They know it, so to keep folks from walking up to their back window, knocking, and asking what's for dinner, they carved out a little walkway from stones going away from the house, and tossed in some seating areas and general yard tchotchke art. We stopped to gaze in the gazing ball, and dream of the next time we'll get to walk just the two of us.

Well, I did. Toula just dreamed of ham.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

easter bassets

Took the lowdogs to the beach today, and met up with their friends Dante and Kona.

Sadly, the Easter Bunny did not leave any eggs at the beach for us. Unbelievably, I managed to make it all the way to Easter this year without eating a single jelly bean, or biting the ears off a single Peep. Which, as you know, is best when stale. And the yellow ones are the only good flavor. What is the deal with purple Peeps, I ask you? Yak.

But, I digress.

Kona showed everyone her mad skills at retreiving a yellow squeaky ball her dad launched into the water. Over and over again she went after that thing, with focus and determination normally reserved by Bassets finding a speck of ham that was dropped between the sofa cushions.

On the way to the beach we took out the Basset Hound Manual and flipped to chapter XVXII which discusses limitations of the hound related to the Laws of Physics. It specifically notes that Bassets don't swim, and uses comparitive terms such as "lead weight", and "submarine". However, Molly was not listening to my important passage reading, and upon arriving at the beach she threw herself into the sea, as is typical. Her dad had to fish her out several times. Accordingly, she got soaked. Like most ladies, when her hair gets wet, it becomes curly and unmanageable, poor thing.
At any rate, it was a lovely way to spend a glorious morning, and despite the lack of jelly beans and other easter basket accoutrements, we managed to have a wonderful time.
Don't think I'm not going to be first in line at Target tomorrow morning when they put their Peeps on sale, though. A girl only has so much will power.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

spring has sprung

Holy hell, it was hot today. About 82 degrees. I actually had to wear shoes with no socks, and my pedicure was flaking off. Damn, my life is rough.

No excuses for not having posted anything in such a long time. I could rattle off how tough my life has been for the past few weeks, including 12-hour workdays here, problems with our house leak there (the house is still up-ended, which is a longer story), a funeral for a toddler of a friend, and an east-coast friend staying the week with us...You could care less, you just want On With The Bassets.

OK, ok. Here's some Toula for you:

Voila, Toula sunning herself this afternoon. My pasty white hiney needed some Vitamin D, but no luck, Toula was in the chair. "C'mere, Toula! Off, Toula!" Nope, she wasn't having it.Spring!

We've had a couple difficult weeks with this brown dog. She would wake us up at night scratching, her collar tags dingle-dangling. So, we gave her Benadryl for several days, thinking it was Spring and her allergies. No luck. When she started crying at night as she was scratching, we'd bring her to bed, which worked for a bit. But, we eventually figured out this episode was not going to go away without a visit to the doggie doc.

Finally, I took her to the vet. Turns out she has an ear infection in both ears. Which means I suck as a mom. Let's just be glad I have no human babies, because obviously my intuitive perception is off.

Anywho, the other issue with Toula is that she has sprouted a mini bump on her cranium. The vet confirmed it's not anything but a cyst. I'm doubtful, however, because I think she's signed up with the Jolly Green Giant to smuggle peas.

Check it out:

You know, there's nothing a lady hates more than to be caught in an unflattering photograph, so I'd like to draw your attention to the flowers in the background. See them? Pretty.

There, now pretend you didn't notice that enormous pimple on her head, and next time you see us, just avert your eyes. I know she'll appreciate it.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Michaelangelo, you ain't.

Yesterday the painter was here painting our newly repaired living room wall.

"Go ahead and leave the dogs in," said our contractor.
"Will the painter guy be able to handle them sniffing around?" said I.
"Oh, sure, they're no trouble."
Then, he added: "Baroof!"

Bassets bring grown men to such outbursts.

So, I let a total stranger in to paint my house without making my dogs stay out in the yard. In hindsight, there were so very many things that could have gone wrong...Fortunately only one thing did.

"Everything went well," said our contractor, "he's done and I'll send you the bill."

I came home to find two happy puppies: "Somebody visited us today! And he brought smelly stuff!"

Getting ready for our nightly grunt/drag/walk I bent down over Toula to drop her leash on and found the whole side of her right ear covered in white paint. But, our walls are painted a dusty moss-green color.

"What the..!" Then I remembered: The baseboards were painted white.

Toula had sniffed along the baseboard, picked up fresh paint, then used her velvet-y Basset ear to "paint" the base of our carved wood foyer table. And the sofa. And it appears a bit of a kitchen cabinet. It was all very Monet.

At least she wasn't aiming for Pollack. That would have been too much to clean up.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

naughty

Apologies all around. I was just scolded for not having posted in 11 days which, lately, has felt like only 11 hours....

As you know, weekend before last we experienced a water leak here at Basset Central. We found out the hard way that it damaged walls, carpet, equipment, furniture... So, on top of an already very busy work and home schedule, now we get to do repair renovation.

This is me being giddy about repair renovation: yay.

So far the living room is in the process of repair. Remember the picture of it before? Well, here it is now.That dust on the coffee table? Drywall dust. It's everywhere. That big black thing in the left corner? That is a LOUD industrial fan. It's been running since February 9. I can hear it in my head even when I'm miles away.

But, anyhoo, I'm not the only one who's been naughty lately. This just in, from Miss Toula, who I found this evening after dinner on our bed gumming D.'s tie:I believe that look on her face is internationally recognized as "sorry...." in any language.

Frankly, I hate that tie, she's so cute with her speckled pink belly I want to snorgle her, and I don't blame her wanting to lick something that smells like D., so she's welcome to it.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

it wasn't basset slobber

When a dog eats a treat - a large one that takes more than a few bites - the dog usually uses the ground as a sort of support. This is due to their lack of opposable thumbs, and their reticence to sit at the dining table and use a fork like a normal person. No matter how many times you've forced them to practice using the good silverware.

The treat-eating process can sometimes involve a lot of drool, and, not to put too fine a point on it, it can result in a wet spot on your floor.

Which is why, when last night I stepped on a damp spot on the living room floor, I assumed it was due to a Basset Snack Experience. When we'd returned home from work minutes before, we discovered Toula had spent the day snacking on a found chapstick.

So,that wet spot didn't ring any alarm bells in my head.

This morning, eating breakfast in advance of a trip to the dog park, I looked up and saw a huge ceiling water stain, and dripping coming from the ceiling of the living room. It was dripping right down into our media cabinet. The one that is known far and wide as D.'s Pride And Joy and which brings most grown men to tears when they see it.

Let me put it this way - the morning after we watch an action movie, I have to go through the whole house righting all the pictures hanging from nails, because the vibration from the Amazing Amplifier Speaker Thingies has scooted the entire house northward about an inch.

But, I digress.

Since we had just spent One Gazeellion Dollars renovating the bathrooms upstairs, and are still paying off the project, I was thrilled to see this. "Yay!", I said, "That smells like more money - and I can't wait to spend it!".

Walking over to the spot to view it, I felt and heard that distinct carpet-soaked squishing sound. Confirmation hit: Toula doesn't usually drool that much.

I dialed our Contractor Guy who was at the house with Plumber Guy within 2 hours. After moving the media center, discovering one of the speaker amplifier thingies was now rusting from the wet, they cut a hole in the ceiling and found a copper pipe that had been touched with a nail back in the Stone Age when our house was built. Over the years, this had slowly corroded a hole in the copper pipe. Yay, chemistry.

Plumber Guy: "Whatchoo got here is 'schedule M' copper, which is thin. This stuff don't last more than 20 er 30 years. (quick mental calculation...my house was built in 1978....uh....it's 2008...so, 30 years.) I only use 'schedule L' copper, which is, like, twice as thick."

Me: "Hokaaaay. So, can you fix it?"

P.G.: "Yeah, we'll getchoo all fixed up."

So, after some cuts and soldering, the offending section was removed and replaced with a new 4" piece of 'schedule L'. I can now sleep soundly knowing there is at least a smackerel of 'schedule L' in my home.

Molly, meanwhile, managed the project, as a typical manager would. The plumber will be submitting his TPS reports in the morning.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

OMG

I'm...speechless....with...glee!

wtf?

"After brunch we'll take our tea in the solarium, James."

Molly's lazy-o-meter is on 11. Lately, she's put on like she doesn't want to walk as far as we usually do, but if another dog shows up on the street its, "oh, hell no, you don't walk faster than me, I walk faster, and not only that, I've sniffed that shrub before, so shove off", and I'm being dragged down the street like an asphalt water skiier.

Example given: Every once in a while she takes her meals sitting down. What the heck is that about? In the World of Dogs doesn't this mean in the wild she'd either be eaten, or laughed out of the pack?

Actually, yes, it does. Well, for a hound, likely laughed out. I showed her this hound video as proof and told her if she's naughty, it's off to the French Chalet for you, puppy! Au revior, chien! Il n'y a pas de Costco Cookie Bones au chalet, ma petite!